In the first weeks after a separation, most people are juggling a long list of worries at once: where everyone will live, how the bills get paid, what to tell the children and whether they should be doing something legal straight away. It is easy to feel that everything is urgent.
It usually isn’t. A few things do need prompt attention, but many decisions are better made once you have calmed down, gathered information and taken advice. This separation checklist for NSW is designed to help you sort the urgent from the important, one step at a time.
Step 1: Look After Safety and Wellbeing First
Before anything else, make sure you and your children are safe. If you are in immediate danger, call 000. If there has been family violence or you are worried about it, tell your lawyer early, because it affects how parenting and property matters are approached.
It also helps to lean on the people around you. A GP, counsellor or trusted friend can make the early weeks far more manageable. Separation is a legal event, but it is also a personal one.
Step 2: Be Clear About the Date You Separated
You do not need to file anything with a court to separate. Separation happens when one or both of you decide the relationship is over and act on that decision. It is worth writing down the date and what happened around it, because the date can matter later.
- Divorce: to apply for a divorce, married couples generally need to have been separated for at least 12 months. Our divorce and separation page explains that process.
- Separated under one roof: some couples stay in the same home for a while after separating. That is possible, but you may later need evidence showing how your living arrangements changed.
- Time limits: property applications have time limits. For married couples, it is generally 12 months from the date a divorce takes effect; for de facto couples, generally two years from the end of the relationship.
Step 3: Sort Out Immediate Living Arrangements
Think about the next few weeks rather than the next few years. Who is staying in the home? Who is paying the mortgage or rent? How will day-to-day expenses be covered?
Interim arrangements do not have to be perfect. They do need to be workable, and ideally written down in a simple email or message so there is no confusion later. Try not to make big, hard-to-reverse decisions, such as selling property or moving a long way away with the children, before getting advice.
Step 4: Put the Children’s Needs at the Centre
If you have children, they will notice the change long before they understand it. Agreeing on what to tell them, and telling them together if you can, takes some of the pressure off.
Practical parenting points
- Agree on a short-term schedule for where the children will live and when they will see each parent.
- Keep routines such as school, sport and friendships as steady as possible.
- Avoid discussing adult conflict in front of the children or using them to pass on messages.
- Keep a simple record of the arrangements and any changes.
Many parents later record their agreement in a parenting plan or apply for consent orders. In most cases, parents are expected to attempt family dispute resolution before asking a court to make parenting orders, unless an exception applies.
Step 5: Gather Your Financial Documents
A fair property settlement depends on a clear picture of what you both own and owe. Both parties have a duty to give full and frank disclosure of their financial circumstances. Starting to gather documents now saves time and cost later.
| Category | Documents to collect |
|---|---|
| Income | Recent payslips, tax returns and notices of assessment |
| Bank accounts | Statements for personal, joint and business accounts |
| Property | Title details, mortgage statements, recent valuations or appraisals |
| Superannuation | Latest statements for each fund |
| Debts | Credit cards, personal loans, car finance and tax debts |
| Business interests | Financial statements, company or trust records |
| Other assets | Vehicles, shares, crypto, insurance policies and valuables |
Keep copies somewhere secure that only you can access, and change passwords on personal email, banking and phone accounts if you need to.
Step 6: Protect Your Financial Position Sensibly
Be careful with joint accounts and credit. Consider whether you need to let your bank know about the separation, and think about redirecting your own income to an account in your sole name. Do not empty joint accounts or run up debts, as this can damage trust and may be taken into account later.
You may also need to update your details with Centrelink, the Australian Taxation Office, insurers and your super fund. If you have a will or have nominated your partner as a superannuation beneficiary, separation is a good time to review those arrangements.
Step 7: Get Early Legal Advice
An early conversation with a family lawyer does not mean you are heading to court. Most separating couples resolve their matters by agreement. Good advice at the start simply helps you understand where you stand, what a fair outcome might look like and which steps can wait.
Advice is particularly useful if there are children, significant assets, a business or trust, family violence, or a partner who is not cooperating. Our property division team can explain how property and superannuation are dealt with, and our wider family law services cover parenting, advice on mediation, and agreements.
Step 8: Choose a Path to Resolution
Once the dust settles, there are several ways to reach agreement:
- Direct negotiation between you, with or without lawyers involved.
- Mediation or family dispute resolution with a neutral third party.
- Lawyer-led negotiation, where each person has their own legal representative.
- Formalising the agreement through consent orders or a binding financial agreement.
- Court proceedings, usually as a last resort when agreement is not possible.
The right path depends on how well you and your former partner can communicate and how complex your affairs are.
Your Separation Checklist at a Glance
- Safety plan in place and support around you
- Date of separation recorded
- Short-term living and money arrangements agreed
- Interim parenting arrangements in place
- Financial documents gathered and stored securely
- Passwords, accounts and beneficiary nominations reviewed
- Initial advice from a family lawyer
- Preferred path to resolution identified
Talk to Our Team
MCB Lawyers has been helping Northern Beaches families since 1945. If you have recently separated and want to understand your options, our divorce and separation lawyers can talk you through the next steps calmly and clearly. Contact us to arrange a time to talk.
This article is general information only and is not legal advice. Please speak with a solicitor about your circumstances.